Category Archives: Healing & Counseling

Blessing of Ramadan (Video Series)

Forty Ahadith on “Whosoever…”

Excerpted from
Al-Jami` al-Saghir min Hadith al-Bashir al-Nadhir
Compiled by: Imam Jalal al-Din al-Suyuti (`alayhi ‘r-Rahmah)

Translated by: Muhammad Husayn al-Qadiri

  • Whosoever harms a believer has harmed me, and whosoever harms me has harmed Allah. [Al-Tabarani in Al-Awsat]
  • Whosoever fears Allah, Allah will make everything fear him, and whosoever does not fear Allah, He will make him fear everything. [Al-Hakim]
  • Whosoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah and withholds for the sake of Allah then his faith has been completed.
  • Whosoever loves a group of people, Allah shall resurrect him with them. [Al-Tabarani in al-Kabir]
  • Whosoever loves al-Hasan and al-Husayn has indeed loved me, and whosoever hates them indeed hates me. [Ahmad in al-Musnad]
  • Whosoever performs hijamah (cupping) on the 17th, 19th or 21st of the (lunar) month then it is a cure for every disease.
  • Whosoever ties the Ihram of hajj or Umrah from al-Masjid al-Aqsa then he will be just like the day his mother gave birth to him. [Abd al-Razzaq in his Musannaf]
  • Whosoever looks after an orphan shall be with me in Jannah, just like this (joining his forefinger and middle finger together). [Al-Tirmidhi]
  • Whosoever revives these four nights then Jannah is binding upon him; the night of al-Tarwiya (8th of Dhu al-Hijjah), the night of al-`Arafah (9th of Dhu al-Hijjah), the night of al-Nahr (10th of Dhu al-Hijjah) and the night of al-Fitr (1st of Shawwal). [Kanz al-`Ummal]
  • Whosoever brings infertile land to life, for him is a reward therein, and if a creature eats from it, that shall be charity for him. [Ahmad in al-Musnad]
  • Whosoever revives my Sunnah has loved me, and whosoever loves me will be with me in Jannah. [Al-Tirmidhi]
  • Whosoever frightens a believer then it is a right of Allah that He shall not save him from the frights of the Day of Resurrection. [Al-Tabarani in al-Awsat]
  • Whosoever takes another’s piece of land unjustly, he will be made to sink down the seven earths on the day of resurrection. [Al-Bukhari]
  • Whosoever does not perform khilaal (pass wet fingers in between the fingers and toes in wudu and ghusl) using water, Allah shall pass fire through them on the Day of Resurrection. [Al-Tabarani in al-Kabir]
  • Whosoever has love for his (Muslim) brother in his heart and does not reveal it to him then he has betrayed him. [Kanz al-`Ummal]
  • Whosoever takes intoxicants then Allah shall not accept forty days of his prayers. [Al-Tirmidhi]
  • Whosoever builds a Masjid seeking by it the pleasure of Allah, Allah will build for him likewise in Jannah. [Al-Bukhari]
  • Whosoever removes harm from the Masjid, Allah shall build for him a house in Jannah.
  • Whosoever removes a harmful thing from the path of a Muslim, then Allah shall write for him a reward, and for whom He writes a reward, he will be entered into Jannah. [Al-Tabarani in al-Awsat]
  • Whosoever makes an error or commits a sin, thereafter feels remorseful, then that (remorse) shall compensate for it. [Al-Bayhaqi in Shu`ab al-Iman]
  • Whosoever dedicates forty days for the sake of Allah, the wellsprings of wisdom shall appear from his heart to his tongue. [Abu Nu`aym in al-Hilya]
  • Whosoever calls the Adhan for seven years seeking reward; Allah shall write for him freedom from Hell. [Al-Tirmidhi]
  • Whosoever calls the Adhan for one year not seeking any (worldly) reward, shall be summoned on the Day of Resurrection. He will stand on the Door of Jannah and it will be said to him, ‘Intercede for whom you wish’. [Ibn `Asakir]
  • Whosoever commits a sin knowing he has a Lord who if He wishes can forgive or punish him then it is a right upon Allah to forgive him. [Al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak]
  • Whosoever displays to people fear (of Allah), greater than he really has, then he is a hypocrite. [Kanz al-`Ummal]
  • Whosoever pleases his (Muslim) parents has pleased Allah, and whosoever angers his parents has angered Allah. [Kanz al-`Ummal]
  • Whosoever increased his knowledge (of religion) and did not increase his detachment from the world has not but distanced himself from Allah. [Al-Daylami in Musnad al-Firdaws]
  • Whosoever performs ablution in extreme cold conditions will obtain double the rewards. [Al-Khatib in al-Tarikh]
  • Whosoever can, should die in Madinah, because I shall intercede for the one who dies in Madinah. [Ahmad in al-Musnad]
  • Whosoever can benefit [by incantation (al-ruqya)] his brother should do so.
  • Whosoever can protect one’s religion and one’s honour using his wealth should do so. [Al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak]
  • Whosoever amongst you can cover his believing brother using the edge of his cloak should do so. [Al-Daylami in Musnad al-Firdaws]
  • Whosoever makes haste shall err. [Al-Tirmidhi]Whosoever seeks forgiveness of Allah after each prayer by praying three times:أَسْتَغَفِرُ اللَّهَ العَظِيْمَ الَّذِيْ لَا إِلٰهَ إلَا هُوَ الحَيُّ القَيُّوْمُ وأَتوْبُ إِلَيْهِ Astaghfirullah al-`Azheem al-Ladhi La Ilaha Illa Huwa al-hayyu al-Qayyumu wa Atoobu Ilayhi his sins will be forgiven, even though he tried to run away from the army. [Ibn al-Sunni in `Amal al-Yawm wa al-Laylah]
  • Whosoever seeks forgiveness on behalf of believing men and women, Allah shall write for him a good deed (equal to) each believing man and woman. [Al-Tabarani in al-Kabir]
  • Whosoever seeks forgiveness twenty seven times in a day for the believing men and women then he will become from those who are answered and by whom the dwellers of earth are given sustenance. [Al-Tabarani in al-Kabir]
  • Whosoever begins his day with goodness and ends it with goodness then Allah says to the Angels, ‘Do not write the (minor) sins between the two’. [Kanz al-`Ummal]
  • Whosoever listens to music will not be allowed to hear the sound of al-Ruhaniyyin. It was asked, ‘Who are al-Ruhaniyyin?’ He (SallAllahu `Alayhi wa Sallam) said, ‘The reciters from the people of Paradise’. [Al-Tirmidhi]
  • Whosoever completes the recitation of the Quran in the morning, the angels pray for him till the evening. And whosoever completes the recitation of the Quran in the evening, the angles pray for him till the morning. [Abu Nu`aym in al-Hilya]
  • Whosoever carries for my people forty ahadith, Allah will resurrect him on the Day of Judgement as a Jurist and a Scholar. [Ibn `Adi in al-Kamil]

 

 


© 2012 As-Sunnah Foundation of America

Suicide and Bullying: A Time for Change

Over the past few days, the Internet went abuzz with the suicide of a young teen, Amanda Todd, only 15 years old, having lived her last days of her life in absolute torment as a result of exposing herself to an individual she taught she knew over the Internet, who attempted to exploit her through extortion had she not complied to his forthcoming demand. When she ignored him, her life was turned topsy-turvy when the police came knocking on her door in the early hours of the day with the news that her pictures were posted all over the Internet.

Her haunting story is told by herself, prior to her taking her own life after a couple of unsuccessful attempts, over YouTube, in black and white, where she silently flipped card after card of her heart-wrenching story. It ended with the words, “I have nobody…I need someone 🙁 …my name is Amanda Todd”. Shortly thereafter, she hung herself.

The response to her suicide was a disconcerting mix of emotions including feelings of empathy, sadness, hopelessness towards her and all who face her predicament along with hatred, anger, and disgust to those whose actions brought about this frail girl to take her life.

How lonely this girl felt? Was there no one who was willing to share her burden with her? With all of the support systems available and in place, what was it that kept her from availing them, or is there really a support system for kids like her to turn to. Obviously her friends were of no use to her, because they all abandoned her. Then there’s the one who had his girlfriend turn on her after using her because she was so desperate to find someone who loved her.

I have heard various viewpoints over the past few days as to why Amanda was driven to take her life. Some named the prevalence of reality-shows where young girls are increasingly engaging in ruthless and cunning ways to get what they want. Whereas, others though it was the fierce competition that our society as a whole has to engage in to succeed. Then there are those who blamed the parents for not giving her enough love. These may all be true, but the main cause, without a doubt was bullying. Bullying is one of of the leading causes of suicide in teens. The reality of the matter is that Middle and High schools in the United States and Canada have become increasingly cruel places for those who don’t have the power to stand up to bullying. If you don’t fit in the social norms of what defines the school, you are an outcast and you will be bullied, picked-on, thrown in the rubbish bins, along with and a host of other cruelties that our kids just keep within themselves and never talk about.

Are we to be naïve enough to believe that schools are not aware of such issues? Why is it, the moment a child sets foot into middle school, all communication, other than grades, are off limits for parents? How are truly concerned parents to help if their kids have sworn to secrecy, where “telling on others” is the worst taboo? My take on this, and I may be wrong, nobody knows what the parents had to go through to have her avoid all of this. Do you think that her parents had not given her all the love in the world, considering they had to make huge life changes by changing school-after-school to help their daughter find peace in a cruel society?

What does it take to break the cycle of bullying? Standing up to the bullies, with the risk of being beaten by a mob? Telling on others and risk dropping down the lowest rung of the social ladder? Confiding in your parents and risk being called a “baby”, or talking to friends, who really are not your true friends, because they could not stand up with you, and because they abandoned you when you really needed them? What does it take?

By the way, in the case of Amanda, where were the men who could’ve but didn’t stand up to the bully? Are there any more men left in our schools? If three or four brave young men took a stand this may not have happened.  Can you redeem yourself by taking a stand next time?

Then there are those who believe they are helping the cause against suicide, but they are actually trivializing it.

In old England suicide was considered a capital crime depriving the deceased of a decent burial unless they were insane. In my own faith, Muslims believe that the one committing suicide re-lives the very act of suicide over and over again until and beyond the Day of Reckoning. For many Muslims, believe alone is a prevention of suicidal thoughts, and suicide will never be an option, no matter what. Amanda’s fate is something for God to decide, and God is not unjust and will not punish a child who has not reached mental maturity (in some opinions as opposed to just physical maturity ), nor would He punish the one who was suffering from serious mental illness, severe depression and anxiety both being serious mental conditions. This should not be construed as trivializing suicide in Islam, but rather a call for Muslim scholars and jurists to recognize that depression is one of the leading causes of suicide, even among Muslims, and merely pointing out the punishment of the act is not enough. We have the tools in traditional Islamic counseling to address the epidemic of depression and when we do see there is a need for psychological or psychiatric help we should put our pride aside and refer the patient to those medically trained in that field. The point I am trying to make is that those who trivialize suicide with remarks like “fly free”, “fly with angels”, “wear pink to support” and so forth, are actually encouraging it whereas the real encouragement should have been focused on her, before the fact, to save her from such a painful life to begin with. We can sit in our couches and wear as much pink as we want, hoping that Amanda’s soul will fly away with angels until we are blue in our faces, but saying such things, in my opinion, only trivializes the enormity of someone driven to the degree of taking their own life. Yes, one of the most profound tweets this morning that caught my eye is one in which a youngster writes that the reaction to her suicide by the vast majority of comments made her sick of Humanity and how people trivialized suicide. She was right!

So what can be done to deal with this epidemic of bullying and resulting suicides? I offer one option that I know is effective. For many, homeschooling is not an option, because, often, parents are led to believe that it is too tasking and they cannot teach. But there are many modes to homeschooling. The least you may need is to ensure that your teen is progressing. Online homeschooling is a new phenomenon that is quite popular among many parents nationwide.  Other options include part online, self-study, and tutor help at a school. Teachers are also paid by many states to tutor your kids as needed at their homes. If your child is being bullied, look for warning signs of withdrawal, behavior changes, unhappiness, and a host of other reactions that scream out to you that something is not right. I often hear parents’ concerns that their child will miss out in social interaction. Well, there is plenty of that outside of school. It is what you make of it. Bond with families who are doing the same and there are many families. Try it for a year and that often removes the anxiety until your beloved child regains the confidence to return back to society. In the case of Amanda, it is too late, and the very thing that parents feared the lack of, social interaction, is the very cause of her demise. There are ways out. Seek them!

As for competition, I really believe that it healthy as long as it is in education, sports and not in attempting to be the most popular person in school. School uniforms are a good option to remove negative competition, but no, our corporate back-to-school sponsors would claim that it’s not good for the economy. And many parents buy into the myth of children losing their individuality. In my experience with uniformed schools, kids will find a way to express their individuality despite the uniform in more positive ways!

And lastly, schools share some blame on this. They have the responsibility not to enforce but to create an environment that is safe for kids. They have a moral obligation, in my opinion, to communicate with parents just the way they did in elementary school. Many countries continue to do this through high school, why not in America considering the alarming rates of depression and anxiety, and other resulting mental disorders? For Heaven’s sake, kids are in need of continual guidance through school, and also beyond as long as it is done in a sane and encouraging manner, what’s the harm in that?

I do not claim to have all the answers, but what I do know is that the status quo is unacceptable and we will continue to lose many more Amandas and share in the guilt of our inaction. The least we can do is discourage suicide, encourage our loved ones, find creative ways to break the cycle of bullying and maybe on the Day of Reckoning we will not be held collectively accountable for our stupidity.

Peace!

Sharaaz Khan