Category Archives: Culture

July 1, 2010   Course, Culture, Education, IECRC Chapters, Intercultural Communication, Sacramento, Schools, Uncategorized   1 Comment

Being a Shepherd of Your Family in Modern Times

In the Name of Allah the Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Countless blessing and greetings upon the Best of Creation, His Blessed Prophet (sallallahu alyhe wasallam).
Allah Subhana wa  Ta’aala has commanded us in the Holy Qur’an that we should save our children from a fire whose fuel is human beings and stones (man-made idols).
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O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do (precisely) what they are commanded. [Quran 66:6]
 
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The word “responsibility” in the Merriam-Webster English dictionary is defined as “the quality or state of being responsible: as a : moral, legal, or mental accountability.”
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There a several ahadith of the Beloved Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) that explain responsibility.  The most well-known of them are:
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Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock.” and
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Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock.”
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In Arabic, the word used for the one responsible is mas-oulun. The root of this word is S-A-L and derived from it are words such as sa-ala (to ask or he asked), su-ila (to be asked or to be questioned) and su-aalun (a question).  Thus mas-oulun in reality is the one who will be questioned about that which, or the ones who, he was responsible over.  The ahadith delineates who is responsible for what and the questioning about these responsibilities will be on the Day of Judgement.
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A shepherd is someone who is watchful over his herd.  He rests with one eye open mindful of the fact that lurking in the bush are wild predators who are too ever-diligent.  He tends to his flock when they are hurt or ill, and separates the sick animals from the herd for the better of the others until they are well again.  He cares for their diet and cleanliness to prevent malnutrition and infection.  Why should parenting be any different?
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Thus as parents, we have a set of responsibilities in the household.  The father must provide food, clothing, shelter, and a sound education to his children. With respect to education, he is mas-oulun of (will be questioned ) specifically about whether or not he had taught his children the Quran and taught the them what is right and what is wrong.  He is to marry a pious woman who has good moral values so that she can practically raise the child with good character.  If the mother and father don’t have the knowledge of the Quran and how to pray and so forth, they should hire someone to do it.  Nevertheless, they are not free from this responsibility. Thus, you (parents) and no one else are responsible for your children’s upbringing and education.
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Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala is the Giver of Knowledge, but the nature of learning involves a process, one mostly requiring sacrifice of time, effort, and wisdom.  Learning does not happen if you do not make an effort and provide a means and environment for your children to flourish. You must encourage them to seek knowledge, to gain it, to apply it, then to pass it on to the next generation. After all, is it or not in your interest to save your spiritual nasl (lineage) and not just your family lineage? Is it or not in your interest that after you leave this world that they pray for you? Is it or not your interest that they have the emotional and spiritual tools to navigate through the difficult trails and tribulations of life so that they do not become a liability on you and society in your old age?  A sound Islamic education has countless benefits. Those mentioned here are but a few.
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When I ask parents why is it they do not send their children for classes or why are they not showing up for class, the answer usually is “They don’t want to come during such and such time” or “They have too much homework” or some other reason.  Muslim parents, today’s children and teenagers have countless pressures, excessive homework, school, friends and peers and to add to these, they have way too many distractions with the coming of the electronic age. Its easy for parents to feel that their children are already burdened and overwhelmed, so why add more “education” on their plate? My answer to that question is another question. “How many children would actually say “I want to learn Islam. I am interested in learning more, I want to seek and gain knowledge,” if we don’t encourage them towards this end?” If parents were to leave their children’s education in the hands of their children, do you think they will incline towards it without question? Thus, parents, its you who must encourage them towards this end whether they like it or not.   You must engage with then by asking them what they know about their religion and when they are at it, what they have learned. You must also attend the Islamic classes they take so that you too can understand its importance, and by having them revise and by asking and assessing their progress.  Who said parenting was easy let alone raising wise, and moral children?
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Then when they have started on that path, you must encourage them to stay with the program and not to become the Islamic school dropout. Our elders used to say that when you start something, finish it.  Traditional scholars tell a story that describes this value well.  Two young men set out to find water.  One digs two feet and doesn’t find water, moves on to another spot in the field and after finding  nothing after two feet again moves on until he digs hundreds of holes without ever striking water. The second youth digs and doesn’t stop digging until he strikes water at 25 feet. Who worked harder? Who worked smarter? Who reached his goal?  We must support them to work hard but also to work smart.Â
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This parable tells a great deal about the youth, who, mind you, are our future. It reflects the impatience expressed when it comes to Islamic learning.  This generation especially has changed so much in such a short period of time in contrast to their parents and grandparents, who 10-30 years ago were in their shoes, yet are galaxies apart. An age where electronic media is everything and where learning of the religion is also becoming limited to Television, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and Hadith by way of texting, if you are lucky to have them incline towards the Deen.  The remote and flashing images on screens, fast-moving games that are constantly changing,  has changed something deep inside our children forever. They want learning to be fun and to be short and sweet otherwise it is “boring”. And if it doesn’t meet that standard, they may always change the channel on the teacher or abandon their Islamic studies.  We can only hope that the reality is not so grim, but what if it is? The statistics surely reflect that.
USA Today recently reported that the Millenium Generation is not interested in “organized” religion. That if this trend is not turned, churches will close in the same way that GM car factories and showrooms have all around the country.  Do you think that Muslims will not be affected by this trend? If we are living in the US, our children are bound to take on similar attributes as those who live here no matter how much you try to prevent it.  We are not any different.  The Prophet (sallallahu alyhe wasallam) once said:
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Man qaama bi qaumin arba’eena yawman fa huwa minhum
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He who stays with a nation for forty days, he is one of them.
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Think about your teenager 5-10 years from today, when they will have their own children.  If now is not the time for them to get an Islamic education, when is?  When they are parents do you think they will have the time to get an Islamic education in that stage of your life? Are you able to? Then is it fair to them to think that they will find the time?Â
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The In-and-Out syndrome or the two-feet syndrome is a sign of our times because committment is hard to find but it’s also laziness both on the parents’ and children’s behalf.  And laziness is disliked in this religion of yours as one is encouraged to flee it or to seek refuge from it:
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The following dua has been related from the Messenger (upon whom be peace) for protection against laziness among other problems:

Allahumma inni aaudhu bika minal-ajzi wal-kasli wal-jubni wal-harami wal-bukhli, wa a’udhbika min adhabil qabri, wa a’udhubika fitnatil mahya walmamat.

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, anxiety and sorrow, and I seek refuge in You from the torments of grave, and I seek refuge in You from the trials and tribulations of life and death.

Now here is an exercise that I advise every parent to do. Without your children noticing, listen to the conversations of your children.  Listen to the language they use among themselves, how do they talk to each other or write on the Internet.  Join Facebook and MySpace and have them become your friend. Then observe what they are saying to each other.  Catch up on the slang they use to communicate with each other.  If you are not giving them exposure to positive social interaction with other Muslim role models and providing enrichment outlets for them, you will probably be shocked. Don’t lose an opportunity when it comes knocking on your door.Â
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Parents, while it is important to give them an education that gets them through this economy, for Muslims, it’s even more important that they gain an education, apply it, then teach it to their offspring and those around them so that they are among the Muflihun (those who prospered, the successful ones) and not  those who become fuel for the fire on that Difficult Day of Reckoning.  And the standard of success with respect to Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala and His Prophet (sallallahu alayhe wasallam) is not only this World.
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There are Islamic centers all around the US and the world for this purpose. We are in the electronic age.  Classes are available remotely and via the Internet.  Seek them out.  You will find them. Now do you have an excuse?
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The Islamic Educational & Cultural Research Center provides some opportunities for your children to gain an Islamic education.  Here is what is currently available:
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Call us, we’re here for you.  We are spending our late nights to keep these Centers alive. Don’t you think it’s time for you to do your part?
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Contact us at this email or info@iecrcna.org, or visit our Web Site at www.iecrcna.org.
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Sharaaz Khan
 
Sharaaz Khan is Managing Director of the Islamic Education and Cultural Research Center (IECRC) and the IECRC Academy for Youth and Children, Sacramento where he teaches Islamic subjects to children and youth and provides Islamic counseling, mediation, and healing to Muslims and non-Muslims alike. He is a Curriculum Developer, Instructional Designer & Learning Operations professional.
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June 9, 2010   Belief, Culture, Intercultural Communication, Islam, Practice, Spirituality, Stories, Uncategorized, Women   No comments

The Purest of Lineage: A Convert’s Story of Honor and Degree (Part I of II)

February 1, 2004 / Dhul Hijjah 1424

Volume 1, Issue 4

The following is a story of a convert to Islam who is soon to find that her purpose in life is more than just being married in a noble family.  With all the trials that inter-cultural marriages create,  this mother is to face  the greatest trial of her life.  This is a story of sacrifice and honor – a story that highlights the fact that not only those born in Islam can be raised to the highest of degrees and honor, rather Allah Almighty bestows these attributes upon whomever He chooses.  This story highlights the importance of embracing those who come into the fold of Islam by those already in it.

I was born in England but my soul was lost.  My culture, my surroundings, day and night, everything was a stranger to me.  I was not sure what I wanted.  From a very young age, I used to wait for a handsome Arab prince who would sweep me off my feet and take me away on his horse to a distant land in a castle where no one could see me except him.  Yes, I was living in Newcastle, England waiting for some stranger.  Then, one day, a friend took me to a party where people from all cultures were invited.  It was there that I met Asif, a young man from Punjab, Pakistan.  He belonged to a huge closely-knit, feudal and deeply religious Syed family (descendents of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)).  One day, Asif proposed.  In complete awe I thought to myself, “Perhaps God has gifted me for my modesty.”  We married without delay and I was called Maryam thereafter.

After I recited the Kalima Shahadah (the oath that a convert takes before entering the faith of Islam), I faced tremendous opposition.  After a few months we discovered that a baby was on its way.  It was the happiest time of my life.  Allah blessed us with a beautiful girl.  Asif named her Sana (which means ‘to glorify’) and said, “My daughter was born to glorify Allah.”  We had three sons after Sana.  We were living our lives according to the ways prescribed by Allah and His Messenger (Peace Be Upon Him).  Our life was an example of Paradise on Earth. 

One day Asif’s mother suffered a stroke and he needed to return to Pakistan immediately.  His father was a true Muslim who sacrificed his years for Islam.  It was this that gave me the encouragement that his family would accept me as their daughter-in-law.  It was about the same time that the truth of Islam penetrated my heart and I accepted Allah and His Beloved Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) from my innermost core.  In these days Asif felt increasingly helpless and sorrowful.  I thought to myself, “If we were true to our belief, then why was it that we had to hide our marriage?”  Maybe Asif didn’t want to lose his family.  One day Asif’s elder brother Zahid came to take us back.  He said that they were aware of the marriage and that now we should go back because Asif’s mom was ill and she wanted to see the all kids.  So we moved to Pakistan.  Sana started wearing the Chadar (a long shawl that is wrapped in a manner to cover the body and hair) and started learning to read the Qur’an from a Maulana (a religious scholar).  When my father-in-law sat with Sana and talked about the Qur’an, many questions arose in my heart: Had Allah chosen me for this task?  What is the purpose of my life?  I started reading many books and my father-in-law taught me about the Qur’an, Fiqh (Jurisprudence) and Islam.  He was a complete book in his being.  One day, my mother-in-law died from a heart attack and after a few days my father-in-law also died and this beautiful chapter of my life was closed forever.

My kids, especially Sana was the most learned about Islam.  She was true to her belief and would be praised by everyone who met her.  Our life was peaceful, but I was living a lie.  The truth was that, despite all my hard work, I was not able to adapt to the culture and traditions.  My God-given freedom was snatched from me.  Sometimes I used to wish that I had wings to fly back to my own country.  Asif felt this in me and promised that as soon as the time was right, he would send me to England.  I knew that he was true to his word.  I was not sure of the reason, but every time we intended to go back something would happen and we couldn’t go.

Sana had grown into a young lady by now.  I wished from the bottom of my heart that someone in my in-laws would ask for her hand in marriage.  All of their sons were mature and stood on their own two feet, but why was it that none of them could see Sana?  Asif wanted his daughter to be the pride of this family but this was Pakistan, and not England where I could have looked for a husband for my daughter or she could have found one herself.  England was a non-Muslim country, but this was Asif’s own country.  Then why was he so worried?  In this country, every other home had girls who would go out with boys, dating and shopping and free to enjoy.  But all of this was unlawful for a daughter of a converted mother from England.  My husband was much concerned about her well being, but no one else cared.  All that the in-laws wanted was to find the opportunity to catch my daughter or myself doing something wrong.  That would give them a chance to reject us.  This worried me day and night. I started reading my father-in-law’s books, which he wrote and that gave me comfort.

It was a cold winter night when my sister-in-law’s daughter got married.  There was a strange racket in the house.  When I came outside into the porch, I started watching Sana and the other girls applying Henna.  Standing next to the window, I overheard a discussion.  A lady was asking my sister-in-law about her son, who was old enough to marry and if she had anyone in mind for him.  She replied, “Not yet, I don’t know what has happened to all the good, modest girls.  It seems that all the television girls have stepped into our homes.  They all look like models.”  The women asked, “Why Baji? What about Sana? She is beautiful, modest, homely, and knows all the responsibilities? I wish I had a son…” “Stop it!” said my sister-in-law, “I’m warning you that if you ever took Sana’s name… Sana for my daughter-in-law! God forbid!”  The lady then said, “Why Baji, she is our family girl…” “I told you to be quiet!  Don’t you know that her mother is an Englishwomen!  She doesn’t even know the difference between pure and impure.  That I will have English blood in my lineage, God forbid, No Way!!!” said my sister-in-law.  “But Baji, Sana is your own blood!” exclaimed the woman.  “Please put an end to this topic right here and now and remember that this discussion should never enter the ears of Abid.  He already talks about Sana all the time” said my sister-in-law.  “Baji, I only brought this up because I felt that there isn’t any better girl than Sana.  She is a family girl and she will stay within the family and I know that Asif doesn’t want her to marry out of the family.  He asked me to find out what was the opinion of his sisters about Sana.” “OK, OK, why don’t you marry her with your own brother?” said my sister-in-law.  “If only my brother was up to the mark, he is not even close to her in character,” said this lady.  “Yeah I know, these are just excuses.  Is she the only one left for us? If you cared so much about her then why don’t you look for someone for her so our honor can remain in tact,” answered my sister-in-law.

My God!  These words entered my ears like hot lava.  Unaware of this conversation, Sana looked at me, smiled and called, “Come on mama, let me put Henna on your hands”.  I wanted to burn the whole house and break everything.  What did I not do for this family’s honor?  What was deficient in Sana that she couldn’t be the daughter-in-law of this family?  My whole body was shaking like an earthquake.  I couldn’t breathe.  I felt as if I was a boat, which was about to reach the shore but was suddenly pulled back in by a whirlpool.  In this state I complained to Allah “O Allah, You know what’s hidden in our hearts, You are my witness that I believed and followed You from the depth of my heart at a time when I was brought up in a non-Muslim surrounding, but still had complete belief in You.  I believed that You created every human being for some purpose.  If my purpose was to remove a noble Syed away from base and lowly activities while he had everything, to marry him and protect him from a sinful life, then what is the purpose of my life now?  I am in Pakistan and his family is not accepting his kids because I was an Englishwomen? Now what is it that’s stopping me from returning to my country?  O Allah, show me the right way.”   I felt as if I was surrounded by thick fog and I lost every sense of existence and sanity.  I was not sure what to call this state.   My life had changed forever and little was I to know about the trials that my family was about to face and the honor that Allah, by the rank of his Messenger (Peace Be Upon Him), had in store for me!                                  

(To be continued …)

 The above story, authored by Ms. Farida Abbass was extracted from Pakeezah Magazine (Pakistan) and translated from Urdu by Fatima Sharaaz Qadri, a founding member of IECRC Sacramento and mother of four young children.

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May 20, 2010   Canada, Culture, IECRC Chapters, Intercultural Communication, Islam, Spirituality, Uncategorized   No comments

A Path Towards Harmony

February 1, 2004 / Dhul Hijjah 1424

Volume 1, Issue 4


The basic concept of mysticism in Islam is to know oneself and to know one’s Creator as the Hadith says:

“Whoever knows himself,

knows his Lord.”

It is through this process that one discovers the unity in man. Selflessness is the substance of Tasawwuf (Sufism or Islamic Mysticism). Self-discipline is used to raise oneself above the self and identify oneself with the Divine Self. Man has to establish a harmony between his body and soul to reach the Divine Light that Allah Almighty has placed in him. The proper method to reach the Divine is to go through the following stages: Shari’ah (Islamic Outer Law), Tariqah (Islamic Inner Path), and Haqiqah (Ultimate Reality). There is no dichotomy between Tariqah and Shari’ah. Shari’ah refers to the laws that govern man and society.

Tasawwuf can be translated in English as metaphysics. However metaphysics may not explain the full meaning of Tasawwuf. Nevertheless, this is how it is typically translated. People of Tasawwuf are called Sufi (one of the meanings of which reflects the simple, woolen garments worn by the earliest Sufis). In Tasawwuf the first stage is to follow the path led by a Shaykh or Murshid (spiritual guide) on the journey to the soul.  This is done through Bai’ah, or spiritual contract where the seeker promises for the sake of Allah and His Messenger (Peace Be Upon Him), giving his word that he or she will try to never commit a sin or do anything against the Shari’ah. In Tasawwuf, taking Bai’ah or giving one’s hand in the hands of one’s Murshid is in reality giving one’s hand in the Hand of Allah Almighty through one’s Murshid who is connected eventually to the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) through his spiritual guides in a chain of transmission that connects heart to heart. In Tasawwuf the orders and  commands of the spiritual guide must be followed. It is imperative to submit oneself to the Shaykh without any doubts because he is the Ameer (leader). Regarding this, Hazrat Shaykh Ali Hajweri (may Allah Almighty have mercy on him) refers  the Quranic ayah:

“O People who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Noble Messenger, and those amongst you who are in authority.”

[Al-Qur’an 4:59].

Follow Allah Almighty’s orders, and the Noble Prophet’s (Peace Be Upon Him) orders and “ulil amr” means spiritual guides.

A Sufi who chooses the path of Tasawuuf may finally reach the level of a Wali, i.e. a Friend of Allah. The Awliya Kiram (Noble Friends of Allah) and the Ulema Kiram (Noble Scholars of Islam) should not traverse different paths in different directions, but they should meet on the straight path, i.e. the Sirat-ul-Mustaqeem and hand in hand create in the human being the consciousness of the soul and the body. Hazrat Shaykh Ali Hajweri (may Allah Almighty have mercy on him) clearly defines in his book about the importance of the Shar’iah and that the people of Shar’iah could be excellent preachers of Islam through Tasuwwuf.  Allah Almighty has said:

“There are servants of God who

walk humbly on earth and when

an  ignorant one converses them,

they pray for his welfare.”

[Al-Quran]

As the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said:

“Those who hear the prayers of a Sufi and do not say Ameen, come in the list of the negligent, in the eyes of Allah Almighty.”

The stated Hadeeth (saying of the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him)) clearly refers to Sufism and presents a comprehensive knowledge about acceptance in the eyes of Allah Almighty. The Hadeeth proves that Sufism was practiced in the blessed time of our Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him).

The people striving to attain and reach the Divine Light are those who curb their worldly requirements and selfishness and submit oneself to the willingness of Allah Almighty and His Beloved Messenger (Peace Be Upon Him).  In a Hadeeth, the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said:

“Die before your death.“

When a Sufi attains to Allah Almighty, he never loses Him, and when he loses himself i.e. through the negation of his ego and super ego, he never regains it. This means that when he involves himself in the Dhikr i.e., remembrance of Allah Almighty, he never regains his own personality. According to Hazrat Abul Hasan Husri (may Allah have mercy on him): ”a Sufi is he whose existence has no nonexistence and whose nonexistence has no existence.” Meaning that whatever he attains, he never loses and whatever he loses he never regains.

In short, it can be said that Sufism is a comprehensive applied syllabus of cosmic law (Shari’ah). Mostly, people are confused with their social, political, economical and ethical viewpoints due to lack of knowledge of the Shari’ah which emphasizes human relations, forgiveness, and the most important aspect of society, i.e. tolerance. Tasawwuf is a knowledge of peace and justice, harmony among different cultural groups and supremacy of humanity. Contemporary social order requires comprehensive principles of Tasawwuf to be applied in the different societal institutions for the betterment of state, politics, public administration, international relations with reference to peace and justice in the world.

References: Taken from articles and speeches of Prof. Dr. Manzoor-ud-Din Ahmed, a distinguished professor of Columbia University, USA and Prof. Dr. Mohammed Ahmed Qadri, Founding Director of IECRC in CA, USA.

Sohail Rana Qadri & Aniqa Rana Qadri

Mr. & Mrs. Rana Qadri are active members of IECRC Canada and contributors to the IECRC Newsletter.

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